BATMAN DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

16.8.03:

Here's an interestingly pertinent question: Has anyone ever met anyone new, ever, on Friendster?? You know, instead of vicariously pleasuring yr inner hipster with me pages and pages of lovely, lovely hair on all the East Coast scenesters who put "porn" on their interests?

Really, how would one go about it? Would one really want to? "Hi, you sound interesting, at yet dispite the reams of searchable, topicated key words you have provided me with, I know nothing about you- our connection is a mix of statistical and coincidental. Would you like to switch hair care tips?"?

Mmm... hair...

_chris! // 21:45

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I am being thrwated! My attempts at transforming myself into a whirlwind of youthful exhuberance are forever being confounded by a world that does not understand the pure genius of my I have come from the 1970s and I am looking for yr porn glasses that I found in my friend's glove compartments (I am never going to learn to drive now- the thrill of other peole's glove compartments is too much to give up).

I got an A and two Bs at A Level, dispite some truely awful marks from this year (God bless modularity!), which obviously should be a lot more fantastic then it really is, because of my cunning plan to put Brighton down as my insurance, so that if I fucked everything up, I'd still be, um... "able to cope". However, this meant that either outcome was good, and then one I got only lead to disappointment, but then this was inevitable.

However, this morning was JOY. This morning was JOY like only wiggling my hips publicly in an almost distrubingly unattractive way can be. I get an en suite, catered room all of 10' from my main campus. Jump!

And then I read all the stuff that came in the post today- who the hell ever let unis write things?? Apparently, I am generously allowed some moderate use of the interwebnets social, non-academic facilities IF I USE MY PAYING CONNECTION. I can understand that on their swishy ethernet ports but... fucking I'M PAYING. They also told divided everyone into clubs you have to be members of to drink in and generally got all mean on my ass.

And ergo I am thwarted. BUT IT IS OF NO ONCSEQUENCE. FUCK ALL Y'ALL. I have access to GTA: VICE CITY, I sent of The Sky for the potentially-fake EMAP Fanzine Awards and I don't even care. I am still pleased that I did even if the guy sends it back to me, with a note scrawled in highlighter saying PLEASE STOP CALLING MY HOUSE.

In other news: Teachers is great, Dizzee Rascal rocks, and my laptop has gone down with what seems like one of the only things more netastic then mp3s, Friendster and incest beastality, and Dizzee Rascal raps about being a Ninja Turtle.

_chris! // 21:22

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15.8.03:

Ugging fuck! How bad is this new Blogger-posting-window-thing?? Er... anyway. Thank you everyone who has emailed me with help about the virus. As I am lazy, and have found an alternative to my laptop, I'll have it sorted before I go on holiday next Wednesday, but frankly all the malarky scares me.

_chris! // 09:58

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13.8.03:

God fucking damn. If my computer tells me that the NT AUTHORITY\SYSTEM has initiated a shutdown because the Remote Procedure Call (RPC) was unexpectadly terminated, I'm gonna scream. More.

Can anyone tell me what that means?

Oh yeh, and here's my (very old) zine.

_chris! // 01:50

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chris is here! rock magicalaqua, barbelith, notopia, holy roman empire, flux, rizla, flyboy, the independent, randomenss, dead dog, suds, home cinema, upsideclown, careless talk costs lives, deva, auto ego fellation, The Adventures Of Perkin Warbeck, captain fez, kookymojo, slave labor graphics, ninjas, top shelf comics, medialens, the guardian, mister disco, fantagraphics books, shortfatdyke, tomatoes might fly, grammarporn, Loz, plums, youth club tape club, Hello Kitty vibrators, eye rainbow dinosaur, Janina, Unskinny Bop and all the other Barbebloggers like a hurricane!
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