I'm glued to the television shouting about how t.A.T.u. should be winning the Eurvision Song Contest, even tho they didn't ride in on tanks shooting men and declaring the end of patriarchy like I was hopeing.

Mostly they have to beat Turkey, who's song should have been about the joys of institutionalised brutality towards Kurdish refugees, even if it wasn't.

And the Polish entry, No Borders was probablly a heartfelt plea to ending European borders all together, thus meaning they never have to stand up and put themselves thru this again. Plus, the song was shit and made my mother upset, and she'd desperatly wanted to be proud of her home.

And can someone just tell me how Israel beat Russia into Europe by about three years? That's just absurd.

... and now they've come third, somehow beaten by a song extolling the joys of beating up refugees because they're a different sort of Muslim. I'm sorry, I'll stop now. Fucking patriarchical navel-showing t.A.T.u. deeating bints.

_chris! // 22:06



Like him or loathe him, having Gallo stand up and appologise for making a bad movie's a bit... harsh, isn't it?

Why do I always feel like molly-coddling the guy every time someone mentions his name like he needs protecting? I mean, obviously he does need protecting, but still...

Standing up and saying he did a bad thing? What did he do, nick some penny chews??

_chris! // 23:19


The Luxury To Die For campaign, currently adorning the back of next weeks Radio Times, amongst wherever else they’ve chosen to put it, is, if nothing else, considerably different from C4’s preferred method of selling Six Feet Under II: The Inevitable Return, Baby, Of The Great Mad Billy, which is to tell us all the plot details, and then have one of those pretty, over-exposed black-and-white-esque ensembles with that music playing.

The trouble is, I don’t like either campaign. I’ve not series two and I don’t know anything, bar one fact, about it and YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING TELL ME, but the Luxury campaign is just so... not the brand identity I was hoping they’d sell it on, if they were going to sell it. Given the nature of the characters, I’d rather they didn’t try and sell it on an identity at all, but picking one that’s the antithesis of Nate’s character? That doesn’t bode well for our furry faced friend now, does it?

Also, there’s the fact that they don’t say what it’s advertising (although just the presence of the word “embalming” does it, right?), and it’s quite hard to imagine most people checking the ad out and then going to the site, and then waiting that long for it to download to find out what’s going on. And anyone who knows what it’s advertising will already have been ducking from their TV for weeks now to get away from the fact that C4 is trying to ruin their evening. These ads aren’t going to pick anyone new up, and as far as I can make out, neither are the TV spots- everyone those ads are gonna get wet watched the first series, and anyone who didn’t isn’t gonna be sold on it by knowing the whole fucking plot now, are they?

So just what the fuck is going on?? My proposal: shots of all the cast members mocked up as dead people, complete with David in drag (shut up, I know he’s not a transvestite- humour me, ‘k?).

My other proposal: move it off Sunday at 10, you 24-impinging, weekend-ruining, Satan-worshipping baby-killers.

_chris! // 21:33


Poor William Hague. Poor, stupid William Hague...

He was on television saying, one minute, about how great Thatcher was because she didn’t take shit from her cabinet (remember The Wets?) and had A Vision and went for that Vision and then the next minute was slating Blair for, um... not consulting his cabinet and only going on the advise of his Evil Advisors.

I’m sorry, I take the sounds of pity back. Stupidity like that’s just not fucking tolerable, surely?? They’re both fucking shit, you partisan, snivelling little shit.

And while we’re at it, why are Blair’s advisors evil, and the focus groups that feed them policy just as much so, while Thatcher’s Lone Empress figure isn’t?? For a start, of course she had advisors- it takes centuries of progressively more stupid ideologies studied by progressively more stupid men in progressive states of isolation ‘til they’re that scared of women for a force so singularly, incomprehensible retarded and stunted as that to happen, so can everyone please get their images right?? But more to the point- aren’t advisors and focus groups just about the closest we’re going to get to democracy right now??

They way I see it, we have a problem- no one elected Labour, everyone elected Blair. While one part of my naturally kicks against the idea of whips and MPs being forced to bow down to the party line on both the grounds that our democracy states that it is our MP, not their party, that is elected, and also simply because censorship fucking sucks, surely no one really believes that more then half the constituencies in the country suddenly thought democratic socialism was A Good Thing and went Left on our asses, do they?

Yes, indeed we do have a big fucking Labour party holding the majority, but they’re not who mass of voters want, it’s Blair all the way, which is a horrible, sickening fact, but maybe he’s just doing the best he can to uphold democracy in a world where most people are so sickeningly, pathetically stupid that, when polled pre-Iraq, they informed the questioner that they disliked Blair’s policy so much that they preferred Duncan Smith’s. Being as it was EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME POLICY AS BALIR’S.

The presidential style, devoid of executive body, so much derided by Claire Short now is, in short, everything no one ever wanted and all we ever asked for.

_chris! // 16:41



Mary Bell retains anonymity.

There's just this big wave of "thank fuck", right now. What really scared about the way the victim's families were acting was the way they all semmed to want to go out after Bell's 17 year old daughter. Because she really deserves that...

This post's been brewing in my mind for a while, and should be covering a lot of ground that I've been thinking about about something Xoc said on barbelith about the law being there to protect us from ourselves, but somehow the more I think about this, the more I don't want to say anything. It's harder with real victims to deal with...

It's a shame, because it'd quite like to work out and articulate my thoughts on why having cool-headed people sit down and work out justice is better then having hot-headed people take their own. It may well be to everyone's individual deteriment, but I have a gut feeling that it's to the collective benefit.

It's just gut feelings aren't enough anymore...

So in conclusion: shut up, please, and think of the children.

_chris! // 21:29


WARGH!! Having fucking finally managed to get my copy of my English Language textbook back and Whoa! Fuck! There's, like... SIXTY FUCKING PAGES RELATING TO MY COURSE AND THAT'S NOT THE START OF IT.

Thankfully, I can fall back on my fantastically detalied knowlege of cognitive development theories, and epseically Chomsky's but fucking hell! most people can't!

And anyway... can someone please remind me why I thought Chomsky's theory was bollocks? Other then finding Vygotsky the most cunt spunkingly fantastic psychologist of all time (Hello! It's just communist ideology with pretentions! AND OUR NATIONAL CURRICULUM IS BASED ON IT! Score!), just what was wrong with Uncle Noam?

And incidently, I can criticise his theory because I suffer from fluffy wolly liberal fatigue and no one else in my class can because they don't even know about his non-psychology work, the big manipulated patriarchical sheep that they are. Oh, and because everyone else's criticism is based solely on his use of the term "language aqusition device" to describe the part of the brain that deals with, um... language aquisition. Sure, it sounds a bit mechanical, but then his theory was developed in the Massasschusets Institue Of Technology in 1945. Fucks sake, people, anyone would think you didn't know yr history of the information processing approach to psychology!

Why do I take pride in learning from my subjects?

_chris! // 21:05



With attendance like this, I’m so underground I make Def Jux look like Bad Boy.

Lady and gent. Welcome to the special club. For special people.

_chris! // 21:50


What the fuck is wrong with Avril “What the fuck is wrong with my tiny mind??” Lavigne’s tiny mind??

I mean yeh, sure, irony. I’m a man of the world- as a socialist, I dig the hip kid thing. And yeh, anti-pop pop sentiments are the new pro-pop pop propaganda and tounge-in-cheek sincerity is so much more wry then head-in-anus sincerity, so am I just too old? Or is it really euthanasia?

Did Avril “What? Fun? Will it make my hair kink?” Lavigne really just tell Popworld magazine that her image is “too f**king pop”??

Can we chalk this one up as her being too exhausted from explaining to the world how Look! Busted can’t be a real band, they don’t even have a drummer! Why don’t you understand?!?! or an unfortunate instance of her freaky labrador hair getting in the way of her big pretty eyes and making her think she was talking to Punkworld or Authenticityworld or fucking ANYTHING other then fucking POPworld.

Was that too easy and obvious? Coming up next: The X-Men: are they?? and semantic quibbles with Ironic.

_chris! // 21:49



I went back into school today for my first exam. How the fuck did my perceptions change so much in, what... four days?

The whole I time I was sat in reception waiting for my three-and-a-half-hour fuck-me-it's-dull-a-thon to start, I kept sounding really angry and I couldn't stop. I don't like going back there and I don't want to go back there. Fuck what it may do to my education, it's just not worth the headaches to spend any more then is totally nessessary there.

Also, how the fucking fucking fuck fuck did I not fucking fucking fuck fuck mention, in a fucking fucking fuck fuck question about how the fucking fucking fuck fuck internet is used by fucking fucking fuck fuck people to fucking fucking fuck fuck further their fucking fucking fuck fuck interest in fucking fucking fuck fuck films, did I fucking fucking fuck fuck not fucking fucking fuck fuck mention fucking fucking fuck fuck Donnie Fucking Fucking Fuck Fuck Darko.

_chris! // 17:08



Dear whoever-keeps-visiting-my-blog-from-"London Borough of Barnet",

Does not living in a place called "Barnet" not cause intense physical pain from having to see that word on yr mail EVERY SINGLE DAY?

Also, who are you?

_chris! // 20:15



Today I went to a Polish mass. I still feel like I'm missing something. I've been to Polish churches, but there wasn't a mass, and I've been to Polish masses, but the buildings have always been English.

I still like the sounds of the words. I like the way the entire culture's brought to you by the letter Z. I feel guilty for falling asleep in it, and being clumsy and kicking the corner of the pew at one point. I also feel guilty for, before it started, picking which member of t.A.T.u. every female under the age of 30 looked like.

But what made the mass for me was the fact that was organised mostly by illegal Polish workers who genuinly want to be a part of Polish culture but, for one reason or another, have to be here. Illegally. Which just makes it better.

I'm romantisicing this far too much, I know, but... it appeals to me. Appeals to me like my father's family history, which one day I'll write a bok about, and it will be beautiful and queer many charming ways, and only some of them in the same way that the word sweetmeats is charming.

_chris! // 20:20


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