BATMAN DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

10.5.03:

So. X-Men. Spoilers for X Men, specifically.

Yummy proleptic references. Beautifully, including the combined facts A: Pyro is a big stupid cock and B: THIS FILM FUCKIONG DELIVERS which, when combined, result in Pyro getting his stupid fucking face run over with a big fucking tank.

He’s like wood! Stupid wood! But, thankfully, PUNCHABLE stupid wood. So we can punch his stupid face so I don’t have to see him anymore and so he won’t make me want to fuck walls with my face.

Although maybe we could keep him in a camera-proof box so we don’t have to see him and then have him come out and try and manipulate Phoenix going “It’s OK! I can manipulate fire!” before having fucking everyone turn on him and punch his stupid face before Phoenix runs him over with a big fucking tank made of fire.

Fucker.

Other then that, it was cunt spunkingly fantastic. Do I have to say something clever or intelligent about it? Do I have to analyse it? Do I have to find deep, hidden meanings in it? No, no I fucking well don’t, you boring-arsed shit-faced tosspots. IT FUCKING ROCKS.

Unlike that Hulk trailer, where it’s arse, and the Matrix trailer where I couldn’t help but feel I was being shown EVERYTHING. Honestly- there was no need to show my Zion. Especially not that crappy subterranean crusties convention jumping up and down like a fucking BBC World Service advert?

That’s the sound of a world full of people having all their surprises ruined at once- do you hear?

_chris! // 13:22

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8.5.03:

Well apparently George Galloway "wouldn't be allowed to say those things there", a rather obvious point followed up with the cunt spunkingly fantastic reasoning that he shouldn't be allowed to say those things here either. Exactly what point they hope to prove with this is completely beyond me, although maybe David Blunkett will now instruct police to shoot gay people getting some in the stomach, shouting "Wouldn't be allowed to do that in Nazi Germany!!".

This is shockingly similar to the whole "Immigrants being badly reported by dumb people leads to dissatisfaction which leads to extremist parties who want to get rid of them. Extremist parties wanting to get rid of them is bad, and thus we'll get rid of them, even tho this is the bad thing, so that extermist parties can't get in" shitfest. Having yr racist cake racistly and racistly eating it racistly too.

_chris! // 23:12

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7.5.03:

See, right now, I’m a deeply, pathologically unhappy bunny. I have horribly long shifts in horribly long stretches ahead of me, and I’m working the last day of time, so I can’t even go in in make up and tut at people when they go weird on me.

So you can imagine my dismay when, on top of al this bad news, I discover that not even my fallback plan of becoming a nasty, self-serving little shit of a local councillor who exterminates poor people by housing them in decrepit, rancid old buildings so they can die of asbestos poisoning will result in long term joy, as eventually my poor-hating crony will have to not just fire me, but fucking END MY JOB POSSITION. ALL OF IT. in response to all those niggling claims that employing right wing knobfaced wankers on the grounds that they give you stretchy-pants might actually be a really fucking bad way to get back into power.

Thank you Barry Legg, truly you are that most vile of things- a nasty, callous, pathetic, ignorant, stupid, murdering Conservative MP. Or, for short, a Conservative MP. Why don’t you just go to Iraq with a £50 stuck on the end of yr rich, white cock and wave it in the faces of radioactive babies dying of cancer as a result of the actions of yr government 12 years ago, shouting “You’re poor, black and ill! You have nothing to live for! And it’s my fault!”. I’m sure the power would make you feel like a real man.

But you know, at least we won’t have a health service soon, thus meaning I can look forward to a happy existence feeling ever so slightly richer because I pay ever so slightly less tax, safe in the knowledge that I can choose to give some loose change to a cancer research fund in return for a sticker instead of simply paying a small part of my earnings towards fucking helping people.

_chris! // 23:08

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Please tell me how the Tories aren't just jumping up and down with glee singing about how they never liked foreigneers and that they're too socially retarded to deal with people and how things are just so damn peachy now that they have a man who hates people in charge of fucking everything to create a horribly repressive society!!

(Indcidently, I can't find a link to the news story in question but, having been told setting minimum sentences is illegal under human rights legislation, he's gone away, sat down, thought long and hard about it and come to the conclusion that he's gonna set more minimum sentences. He's what we like to call "A shockingly stupid, cretinous fuck-faced racist, homophobic lazy arsehole"

_chris! // 11:41

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