Why doesn't the Daily Mail have an online version of it's articles? Other then the fact that they are scared of computers because the air vents on the side are black, obviously...

Today they ran a feature on why some Lottery Commision that is, apaprently, VEYR CONTROVERSIAL is still evil and should still be banned, even tho it's being wound down as we speak. Apparently, they are still rankled that this particular commision is giving money to charities that don't otherwise get money. Apparently, it should be giving money to charaities based on how much money they are already getting from elsewhere, because that's the best way to know what causes the Great British Public want to give money to. And the charitable nature of the great British public that likes to have a flutter every week* was being taken for granted.
Why these charitable people don't just fucking give money to these charities is... no, wait. They do. And while, yes, the charity that breeds guinea pigs fat so people in Peru getting money is a bit creepy, could the fifth weirdest and shittiest thing the Daily Mail find to bitch about was money being given to a charity that fights female genital mutilation in Africa??

Quite clearly stupid racist fuckwit knobfaced wankers who read the Sun and the Mail and also play the Lottery aren't ever going to remove their heads from their arses and actually doing something helpful in the world unless someone does it for them. Mo' power to freaky, mad charity boards that give money to dirty scrouning foreigners.

*I'm not even making that up. They said that. How on earth did they manage to say that??

_chris! // 20:07



I have now decided that when I am rich and famous and make all my money from selling rights to things that I wrote when I was 20, I am going to run the worlds best ever bailiffs firm, in which I will go to rich people and be really snarky to them and then take their car and use the big-ass bailiff fees that I will earn to pay the poor people on my list's debts.

This will A: help people B: make me feel better about myself C: fuck of rich people.

_chris! // 22:29


Everyone knows that the Tory Party is an irrelevance. Incapable of interacting with society because they’re lying, racist, homophobic, corrupt, shit-faced murderers, they have taken to telling us society doesn’t exist any more anyway, and that the world I full of gay asylum seekers sticking their happinesses in the ears of our children and beating up old ladies for mobile phones and Class A drugs synthesised from the spines of autistic children from upper-middle class families.

They recently wheeled out Trouble to soundtrack an apparently round table discussion about how marvellous they are in local councils on national television- a move which begs many questions, most notably amongst them being “How cheap is that song to use, and why does no one ever notice that it’s so cheap because it sounds so cheap??”.

My greatest fear is that, one day, they begin to advocate sheer bloody-minded Marxism while still espousing free market economics. This would not surprise me, given the people they had on yesterday telling me they thought the housing market situation was terrible and that they were building more houses for poor young people. Despite not liking: buildig, houses, the poor, the young, people.

To cap it all off, they have the Jack Davenport of Party Politics as their leader; a vaguely posh, vaguely irritating little man who’s face doesn’t really work like normal people’s and who does exactly the same thing, even when presented with radically different situations.

_chris! // 15:38


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