I'm sat in my kitchen editing my dumb-as investigation into three different reviews of 20 Years Of Dischord. My first draft is covered in funny messages from my teachers, which I don't think are meant to be funny, but culminate in the punch line Are you going to do any graphs?. I totally have to stop finding this funny and do something more interesting with my life.

In the background is Magnolia, which is scrummy and I love, and eve tho I see about three seconds per minute, on average, the oppressive weight of it's all-powerful CRAFT is weighing down in the back of my mind. It's really, really fucking well made. It's why I keep thinking that I should never, ever try and make anything, at all, ever. Becuase I'll never make it like that and Oh good Lord, how I want to...

Some day, someone will email me and I'll be happy.

_chris! // 22:37


You can so tell it's properly spring now, with British Summer Time and everything. You can so tell the cold of winter has passed and now we are entering a joyuus time of warmth and gaity.

YOu can tell because it's been raining for the past two days and C4 is using "spring" as a lazy excusse to hang some naked, mud-covered laydeeez bounching their tits on.

_chris! // 20:25


Oh fuck! Oh holy shitting fuck! Some guy was just on C4 News saying that the only way to solve the problem of the middle east is to show that there's someone in the world more capable of bigger violence then them. One woman was sat outside a church saying how Iraq did it (no they didn't) Saddam did it (Osama Bin Laden did it) They're all the same*.

For fucks sake, just get yr big stupid cocks out on the table and get them to get their big stpid cocks out on the table and measure them, and if you wanan bitch that the other one cheated somehow, then just hit each other with them. Piss on each other with them. Wank on snack products and make the guy who takes the longest eat said snack problem. I DON'T FUCKING CARE- just get yr Goddamn stupid cocks out of my face.

Oh, and don't ever tell me that a gureilla war would have the respct of the people of Baghdad.

*Brackets are what her friend said

_chris! // 20:10


I honestly think everyone should stop calling George Bush cowboy.

Cowboys did, after all, actually build efences. They neither got private companies to make the local lower classes both build and pay for them, or blow them the fuck up cos it looks purdy.

COWBOYS: A Lot More Useful And More Homoerotic Then You're Giving Them Credit For.

_chris! // 20:02



If anyone's wondering, I've been doing my rocking impresion of the mobile from the Carphone Warehouse advert. It's a horrible thing that I do. And once I start it, I can't stop it, no matter how loud the horrible internal monologue of that long haired, be-velvet longcoat-ed, fey, twating Irish comedian of Fey Death By Softly Spoken Boring Doom in my head gets.

Sometimes I want to punch Stupid Faces. Today it is his. His and Riley Finn. Bring it on, fuckers. Bring it with yr stupid Stupid Faces.

_chris! // 23:03



I had a horrible blog post written, but the distance of, like, a whole hour or so makes me realise it would be Just Plain Dumb to post it. It's not even right...

Suffice it to say, I had a Parent's Evening tonite. My parent's are proud of me. But you wouldn't know it, from the sniping and the comparing and the That Thinging they were doing all nite.

It's hard to cry in a room full of teachers and friends and yr parents, so I didn't. But I wanted to. But then I wonder when I'll get to be a Real Boy, so maybe we all should just take less notice of all this crap that seems to fall out when I open my mouth.

Pull my self together, my socks up, my finger out. That's I need to do.

Ooooh, I'm coming up...

_chris! // 21:56



I didn't have to listen to the (stupid) twittering of (stupid) birds today, because I didn't go to school. Instead I too my parents to Southampton University.

It wasn't fun.

The day was mostly spent feeling irrationally spikey and not enjoying it (the feeling spikey). There was also another problem tho. Brighton's Faculty of Lovely Things Chris Really Wants To Learn About has stolen my heart. A lot of this has to do with the actual faculty itself. With the utter cunt-out, this-is-what-we-do attitude of the people, and the way it, in a manner befitting a dental surgery, looks like a terraceouse of sorts on the outside, but opens up into a tiny, cramped waiting room and then expands out back into a little warren of offices and weird, over-sized pale white rooms in the basement that you so shouldn't be snooping about in. It touches all those tingly little places where my secret special love for Neverwhere hides away from all the mean-assed poo-pooers and naysayers.

It's like the Sixth Form Art Block of cultural history.

And it's in Brighton. It's so swoony...

So you can kinda see how Southampton, which is very nice, and very pleasntly carrear orientated and is really thoroughly clean and nice, might not be totally where it's at right now.

But that's not the whole of it. I don't know about Lucy and I don't know about rent and I don't know about how I'll get on not taking drugs.

Oh God, just shoot me now...

_chris! // 22:26



This Is The New Stupidity (Just Like The Old Stupidity) /

There are a lot of people in my life who are anti-American. I mean actually anti-American, not I-ran-out-of-arguments-and-ergo-they-are-anti-American, but full-on, balls-out dumb-ass prejudice. One of them, who will probablly be cited quite a lot here, get excited when i had to use, because he never knew it existed before. He was overjoyed that he could now search the web without all that "stupid American crap".

These are people who cite "London, England" as a sure sign of the American people's lack of world knowledge*. They spent the months building up to the war making all those samey anti-American Foreign Policy (which we all did, let's face it) jokes about recepits and it all being about oil. Fair enough, but it always came with these little undertones of people having a dig at them for not getting involved in World War One soon enough** and this anti-liberal (because Blair is so a Commie Leftie Politically Correct Pinko Fagitarian Feminazi) knee-jerk bollocks.

But now, suddenly, they're all out in force spouting all the same old pro-war lines. Lines they haven't even bother to learn properly. Today, the same one mentioned earlier told me "Saddam's killed more Muslims". That's half a phrase! Look at it!

And the only reason i can see is that now "our" troops are commited. How can people actually buy that horrible thing Tony*** does where he basically says "Well, you've had your fun, but let's be serious for a minute" like a supply teacher who's looseing control of the lesson. "Our" troops being in changes nothing. They have a choice to be there, and if doubts about their actions at home is enough to make them waver then, really, are they that sure of themselves morally? If they have doubts about the morals and ethics of their actions, then they have a legal responsibility to not fucking carry them out.

This stupid patriotism is a horrible thing. I hate it. The people around me scare me. There's something about the look in their eyes that says "Them words you're saying sound like commie words to me" that makes me disgusted these people got brains. I'm sure you only need spinal cords for reflex loops...

*Some one prove me wrong, but isn't there a city in America called London? Wouldn't that explain it??
**No one ever cite this again, OK? We don't owe America a debt that mans they can take over the world becuase they helped us beat the Germans, and not every America is a horrible little shit because they delayed action almost 60 years ago. Fucking get it??
***See? It's bollocks when you just say their first name.

_chris! // 22:38



I had so much to say. And now I can't remember it. Southampton was cool tho.

_chris! // 19:52


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