Something I realised today: George "I like drugs, don't like the enviroment and am a stupid child in a man's body" Bush now has a country that makes a lot of heroin, is about to get a country that makes a lot of oil and, very soon, is going to have a country that makes the wickle toys that go in Kinder Surprise's and make wee Georgie-worgie giggle with delight and then punch poor people in frustration until they agree to show correct deference to his superior genetic stock and make the toy for him.

_chris! // 23:20



I know both Joe and Plums have covered this, but I just want to draw people's attention's to the Israeli statement.

As bad as their innovative use of the word "irresponsibly" may be, I just wanna point they're doing that thing where they blame people for stuff that really clearly isn't their fault. Such as the International Solidarity Movement putting the lives of Palestinianhs at risk*. How are they doing this?? Could it be any more headachingly obvious that they are doing nothing of the fucking sort?? Unless, obviosuly, the Israeli army has taken to aiming for them...

* YOu know, like the French made war more likely.

_chris! // 14:33


Who? What? Where? Why? When?

It's OK, people. When they bomb people with the express intention of causing shock and fear and panic and terror and attempt to scare them into doing something else, that's legitimate preliminary strikes. It's only terrorism when it's not them.

George Bush is on crack (but it's OK, cos we know he wouldn't dream of inhaleing. Do what you like, but don't ever inhale) and the man in the camo (green camo, no less. Like they're gonna hide in the jungles and jump out on them) launched the war by declaring it to be "Hammer Time". Can't touch this. Yeeeeeeh...

In different, lesser news, I got into Brighton yesterday. The head of the faculty said she really wanted me on the course and would make me the standard offer of 3 C's, and if I don't get that then I can "negotiate". I am taking these three C's to mean, not that it is a bollocks course, but as a reflection of the fact that exams maker up about 5% of the final assessment. i was happy at the time, but now I have images of her dancing thru the streets fo Brighton giving places on courses to everyone, until the rest of the faculty armed themselves with large guns and shot her down.

She also suffers from Wooly Liberal Fatigue. I am starting to suspect that people on the news are made up, because almost everyone I know suffers from Wooly Liberal Fatigue.

Also, has anyone else noticed that on the news they're telling us that public opinion now seems to be shifting towards the war? Really? Not one poll has been cited in the formation of this marvelous new theory. Dispite all the problems I had with
Media Control, I think I might now be seeing, for the first time I ever noticed, an attempt to make people think that they're weird, wrong and alone for being against the war.

This is fucked up and horrible and nasty and now I need to sleep and hide.

_chris! // 14:06



It really happened, didn't it? it didn't even sink in until Nina mentioned me. Which is such a horribly, selfish, narrcisistic thinig that I'm not even gonna get into it now, or maybe ever.

In honour of the end of the world as we know it, I brought a Chomsky book for the first time. Fiddling, burning, all that jazz.

Does anyone remember when propoganda was a dirty word? The American's have a propoganda plane up near Iraq playing music and saying how they will help them get over all that shock and awe and the sight of 800 cruise missiles and a shit load of super daisy cutters blowing their children's arms off. Maybe they'll show them The Collected Works Of Bruckheimer, and if they still cry at the sight of violence, they'll hit them round the head and call them pussies and fags.

I have lots of examples of contradicitons that are stupid and scare me that I seem to want to share, but I can't think of them now. It's scary tho, when I do. There's this horrible moment when suddenly you can't blame LOGIC or REASON for what you're doing and thinking and feeling and no, really, these are you're gut feelings.

That doesn't mean I'm giving up, it's just something I'm going to have to bear in mind.

_chris! // 17:56


Damn those shifty bastards!

My psychology experiment has been severaly kanckered by everyone getting the question right, and the 14 year old transexual drug dealing pixies form the photocopier room yesterday has taken to saying hi to me a lot.


_chris! // 14:12


So explain this to me- France said "No, you can't have a war- nur nur nah nur nur", and this made war more likely. How the great cvocking hell??

It made super-illegal war more likely, as opposed to super-immoral war, true. But it didn't make the fucking war itslef more likely. That's an absurd line of reasoning. Unless you factor in the fact that France doing this make America super pissed, and when America get super pissed America SMASH.

It's probablly worth remembering that. Genocidal, lied-to, cretinous stupid cokeheads are not supposed to be running the fucking world.

_chris! // 11:08



Crush death kill destroy!!

It's bene a shity day. Even my mother called it a shitty day. It's that bad. I have no idea why it's this bad, but my fingers hurt form playing bass so hard to calm me down.

My hair's un-cut because they wre closed (I'm scared t do it myself).


_chris! // 18:29



Thoughts on Edward Scissorhands (delayed) /

Oh! Oh my beautiful pain and misery!

How I ever made it to the age of 18 without seeing this film is completely beyond me. It’s not for lack of desire, mind. Ever since I became aware of it, really, I’ve wanted to see it. Why? It’s miserable. It’s miserable and it’s got Johnny Depp in it. Hardly rocket science, is it? The mere idea of it is responsible for the fuzzy feelings I get at the mention of his and Burton’s names*, although I didn’t see it until last Friday.

And inner pain! I wasn’t disappointed! It’s as relentlessly mean and nasty and beautiful as I always assumed my life should be. The suburbia, the slow cars, the colours, the vaguely different uniformity, the pretty man in black, the inner pain of heartbreak at being misunderstood. Mmmm... yummy angst all round.

I swear to God it’s the missing link between my 14 year old miserablist self and my 18 year old... miserablist pop self.

‘S pretty good to boot.

*But that said, wife-beating and The Shit Planet Of The Shit Apes Shit are still bollocks.

Thoughts on Zwan (unfashionable) /

Does anyone here need to be told I used to have a crush on Billy Corgan? Does anyone here need to be told that, while I may well be over all that now, I’m so not sorry for any of it?

The pain? The misery? The indelible, unbreakable linking to Poland and House Of Leaves and bad poetry and coaches and physical pain? The pretty handwriting? The sexy Jesus posturing*? Don’t you understand- I really understood him!!

And so it will come as no surprise to anyone involved that I am really, really glad my own personal Smashing Pumpkins Pimp lent me Mary Star of The Sea last week.

Last week. But I’ve only just started listening to it. It’s a coincidence that last nite was spent in gut-wrenching miserableness as my head collapsed in on itself with coursework stress**, but it’s a happy one. Everything else in place, his whinny, grating, punch-in-the-stupid-face-worthy voice feels oh-so-wrong and oh-so-right.

So yes. It’s wrong. People shouldn’t be listening to this in the fact of Timberlake. I should be painting hot pink slogans about having the cunt*** to do something. I should be making kept-real lo-fi mixtapes of hi-fi freaky disco songs about sex. I can try and excuse it any which way I like (Look! A man from Tortoise! They’re on Warp! They curated All Tomorrow’s Parties once!) but ultimately, for today at least, I am miserable, and it feels good.

*Man in a dress and a scruffy fashionista beard wanders around being very homoerotic and pissing off authorities while being a Marxist but also with an intensely miserable inner pain, doom-and-gloom ending for all involved and a marvellously glorified death. Face it- he’s sexy too.
**Yes, I really should be doing it now, and now I really can’t do it now
***As an interesting aside, Microsoft Word doesn’t consider “cunt” a real word. However, I can’t teach it the word “cunt” so that it doesn’t have that squiggly red line under it any more, because if I do then comedy misspellings of the word “count” ensue.

_chris! // 19:39


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