Wow! I nearly actually almost showed signs of of happy feelings at work when the tanoy told me that Read My Lips by the “lovely” Sohpie Ellis Bextor was on sale (why the fuck are people still tlaking about it like it's new? It's old. It's old and crappy).

I’m sorry- lovely? HOW?? She’s mean! She’s really fucking mean! She’s like Trinny And Sussanna (face it, they’re not seperate people, and they’re evil enough to be just on pronoun) forged in fires of eternal evil into one evil, mean looking nose. No, really. I mean this. Please someone, ANYONE tell me just why it is people keep telling me she “needs it”. Not only is this evidently not true (She’s getting married! Can I walk behind her husband and go cough Dennis Thatcher! cough now please?) but... but... she’s so nasty! Like that anti-fur picture where she’s holding up a dead fox- sure, it’s a good cause n’ all, but really... doesn’t it just look like she killed the thing with her Evil Eyes? She probablly has mean pointy special secret bits too. She’s like an inverted iron maiden. And she sounds like it too. She sounds like she keeps the heads of every shrunken heads of every producer who ever told her “Once more, with feeling” on a chain around her neck when in the studio, as a warning to anyone who might try and tell her sounds as if, in the back of ehr mind, she’s secretly adding up how much money each little movement of her lips will make her, and how many calories she looses in the process. Which, obviously, she is. Because she’s the dieting, singing, be-breasted Andrew Loydd Webber.

She’s wrong in so many ways...

_chris! // 00:32



Fuck yr fucking stupid fucking World Of Stupid Fucking Work! /

I fucking hate being 18 now. Being 18 sucks. Being 18’s got big long weeks of work in it, all thru yr Christmas holidays, and with exams and corusework and stupidstupidshit like all that, it’s all about No Fun.David winning Fame Academy feels like a premonition... I wa gonna have a holiday of make up and stupid Lucy-annoying noises and maybe some writting and drawing and, yes, school work. But fuck no! Now I even have my damn plan for Christmas Eve fucked up. CHRISTMAS EVE. How important is that??

The World Of Work sucks. Being An Adult sucks. Being A Big Kid In My Own Little World Of Sparkly Nails And Lucy And Planning My Next Tee rocks. I miss it. Dear Capitalist Society, please please please can you leave me alone and let me jump up and down like I can still be happy while I’m still meant to be? It’s bad enough that one day I’ll wake up and Steps’ll remind me of my youth and I’ll watch gardening programmes when I don’t garden, buy cookery books when I don’t cook, update my ceedees to something with better digital fangles, tut at modern fashions and say with some horrrible nostalgia for conformity that, yeh, i had spiked hair in my day. It’s bad enough that one day the me I am now’s not ever gonna be around anymore and, given my memory, probablly won’t even be mourning hirself, let alone trying to stop me being the antithesis of my future self now. Stop making me grow up! Stop making me be sensible! Stop making me hate taxes and get selfish! Let me give my money to Big Issue vendors without having to think that they might be spending the money on drugs! Let me shout at anti-Fire Fighter strike customers, fuckdammit!

I’m fucking Peter Pan, me.

_chris! // 23:50



So, the first ever public airing (by me on the Isle of Wight which got a Face profile this month- what the fuck's up with that??) of Double Bluff went, uh... boringily. Got up WAY TOO EARLY after birthday drinkage to get a lift to school, stole the stereo because no one else was there, fastforwarded thru Sippin' 40oz cos it's rude and no one else even turned up until I Was Dancing In The Lesbian Bar. One person nodded their head for about thirty seconds, everyone talked about carol singing in an hour, people planned what they're wearing tonite for the P-Party, blah blah blah. Still, at least no one bitched. People tend to bitch about thew stereo ALL THE TIME.

_chris! // 09:29


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chris is here! rock magicalaqua, barbelith, notopia, holy roman empire, flux, rizla, flyboy, the independent, randomenss, dead dog, suds, home cinema, upsideclown, careless talk costs lives, deva, auto ego fellation, The Adventures Of Perkin Warbeck, captain fez, kookymojo, slave labor graphics, ninjas, top shelf comics, medialens, the guardian, mister disco, fantagraphics books, shortfatdyke, tomatoes might fly, grammarporn, Loz, plums, youth club tape club, Hello Kitty vibrators, eye rainbow dinosaur, Janina, Unskinny Bop and all the other Barbebloggers like a hurricane!
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