BATMAN DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

10.5.02:

wow. I'm in shock. I really am. 116! Of the last 100 hits, 93 from the Blogger frontpage. THE FUCK?!

mail me and tell me why and how?! Please?

_chris! // 09:01

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8.5.02:

As a disclaimer for today's lack of anything, I am in a state of ennui right now.

A big, deep, mournful ennui for everything that is passing me by while I tell you about it. The fact that Alan Bennet has managed to sum up my mood acuratly, and warn me about the way my lfie will turen out if I don't stop should have scared me into action. It just made me a bit more sulky:

"Maybe I would be happier now if I spent more time chasing my dreams then I did listening to music and dreaming about them"

Alan. Fucking. Bennet. Think about that...

_chris! // 20:54

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So: Kudos to Prototype 21 for making their site so over-designed that they actually forgot to put a fucking shop on it!!

Yeah, boys... you rock.

_chris! // 08:34

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7.5.02:

<angry history student>

I’m sitting at text books and trawling thru them looking for quotes to show that I’ve trawled thru them and understood what they are telling me. This is a fucking farce, for several reasons:

ONE> I’m taking A-Levels! <OK, AS-Levels... > Under what fucking circumstances am I going to be able to simply take a copious ammount of primary sources, studay them, gauge porvenance, reliability, usefulness and all the other things my GCSE course taught me to do and then infer meaning, narrative and the implications of this evidence to the wider view, in context, with references and well thoughtout arguments- I don’t have the time for that! The fact that I can sit down and fucking analyse what I do know shows quite fucking blatently that I have read books on this!

TWO> As if the lack of time and recources avalible for this wasn’t bad enough, I now have to quote the cockless bastards who write my textbooks! It would be alright if they actually said interesting things- but they don’t! They don’t even say borning things in an interesting way. They just say boring things boringly and I’m boredboredbored of having to deal with them.

THREE> Why are we even being taught that slavish use of secondary sources with carefully hand-picked primary sources that are there merely to support the writers prejudice’s are such great things? This is all getting a bit Foundation-esque, don’t you think? I’m not saying that primary sources are the only way to go, as where would be the point in writting history at all, we still need people better informed then ourselves to point out other things we may have missed that cast new light on old material and change the provenacne drastically, but surely secondary sources should be about adding context, and not about simply presenting you with one world view- that isn’t what they should be for. So why am I reading thru them and picking out quotes to show I’ve read thru them? Because all the world is BORING!!

I can’t believe that, out of a class of people of about 30 studying Soviet history, only me and
Ben have some sort of understanding of Marxist theory. I’m not even saying he was right <I don’t think he was, really, but atleast he fucking cared! At least he knew what philosophy was for!>, but it seems a pretty fucking retarted thing for people to not understand, both in a class studying it’s effects on a country and the reprobates who ran it, and just.. people who were around in the C20th! Grow the fuck up and notice what the fuck is going on around you.

Actually: here. Treat yrself. Have a Manifesto Of The Communist Party. It's free. Take a moment to sit and read it. It's important- not just as a political and economic world view, not just as a labour of love of a man who gave a fuck, but as a vitaql part to yr own fucking lifetime. Know it, know it's know, know what it did to the world- Get yr head out of yr arse and stop fucking read Macarthyistic interpretations and make yr own fucking opinion of the world you live in. You owe it to the people around.

</angry history student>

_chris! // 20:17

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Pim Fortyne is dead. I feel strangely like just not giving a fuck.

Face it, the guy was a shit. He touted his homosexuality as evidence of his lack of facist tendencies <why is sexua tollerance a preserve of the left? Isn't it time everyone grew up on this?>, was so popular simply becuase he presented a flash image to a jaded electorate bored of having a good political climate <what the fuck is wrong with you?! Yr country was lovely! LOVELY! Why support that cretin simply because he was a radical, dapper alternative!> and paraded black candidates tot show the he wasn't racist. You know, as if all the cretinous reprobates that live in C4's own private London and make comments like "We don't hate anyone but Paki's. And we hate them for economic reasons" aren't racist either.

Sure, so political assasination isn't the way to go for a better world, and I can but hope the man responsible turns out to have had no connections to any sort of organized left wing / anti-Nazi league, because if it is then we're all fucked. Burning down the Richstag, anyone? But if it was a lone nut, then the first person who provides me with a single good reason to feel sorry gets a smack for chalenging my world view.

_chris! // 11:13

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5.5.02:

Clearly, there are many things that I want, but I'll just settle for a GameCube (it made a grown woman say "MONKEY!" about nine billion times on late-nite C4. Tho come to think of it, that's not that difficult... ) and a copy of Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, if only so I can listen to more songs then just I'm The Man That Loves You over, and over, and over, and over again...

Oh, and the other two Seafood records wouldn't go a miss either... Just so I don't become bored of / wear out my copy of When Do We Start Fighting...

Sate my capitalist urge, bitch!

_chris! // 23:49

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I would, first of all, like to declare my love for these two people. They're both lovely. This is a totally unconstructive paragraph...

On the other hand, I had Polish food today... Which is a lot of meat, fitted into really small things. Too much meat in not enough space. I don't know how to sell it, it's quite great, but works better in context... Here we had a starter, and then a main course, and no soup (becuase of the temperature! Pussys! Eat some in a heat wave, you cunts!). I've always had it sat arounda table for hours, with it getting darker outside and lots of wine, and all the courses running into each other, and a constant stream of food until you can't move,a and then you crawl away to big comfy arm chairs and drink whisky and sleep or, if you can't sleep, spend hours trying to get tipex off The Smiths elpees... But still... the food was good. Pulpety and gowabki. I wish my mother cooked like her forebearers and I had a polish name. Tho if she did cook like her forebearers and have a polish name, I'd fucking hate it...

The West Wing is on soon. I should probablly hate it. It's ER about politics, and as such contains no masturbatory theorizing, no nice people. No one does it for their morals, they all just do it cos it's like office work with perks. I should make me sick, but maybe I just need to remember that, well... it doesn't really matter, so come on baby and file those forms!

sigh Seventeen and jaded. I am so a fucking ciche...

_chris! // 19:38

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